I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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