you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
