you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
