why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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