if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
