Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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