dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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