dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
