Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
