haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
