YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
