I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
