well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
