in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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