break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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