i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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