I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
