At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
