so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
