Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
