I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
