does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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