when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
