She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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