Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
