Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
