Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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