There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize