My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
