I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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