OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
