Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
