If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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