come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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