Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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