he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize