she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
