You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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