Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
