Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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