I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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