I heard we made out
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
