I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
