You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
