try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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