I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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