Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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