What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
