I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
