The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
