Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Rumble strips road head = magical
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
