Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
