Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
