Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
