the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
