You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
