ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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