You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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