You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
